Mountain Star

Donkey Basketball Asstounds Spectators

Macy Erickson, staff writer

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Yeehaw shenanigans and redneckery may not be for everybody, but the massive turnout for the student-council sponsored Donkey Basketball on Tues, April 10th, would suggested that it is just what the community of Star Valley wanted. The bleachers were filled with basketball enthusiasts, animal lovers, and people eager to watch brave riders take a wild ride.

For those unfamiliar with the rules of the great sport that is donkey basketball, there are four people riding donkey’s per team. One big man for each team stands in the center circle and is unable to leave the circle but may reach outside as long as one foot remains within the perimeter of the circle. Players may dismount their donkey, but while afoot they may not play defense or shoot the ball. In order to attempt to score or attempt to block a shot, the donkey handlers must be atop their steed. A maximum of 15 seconds dismounted is permitted when a person has gotten off to get the ball.

Despite popular beliefs that many of the missed baskets from the performance were silly or “easy” shots, make no mistake that it is certainly a challenge to remain on top of the donkey and place a well-taken shot. Not to mention, there is very little control over the animals. See, try as they may, those atop the donkeys are actually rather subject to where the donkey wants to go rather than the donkey obeying cues from the handler. There is very little say as to where the donkey goes or just how quickly he goes there, often leading to a rogue animal and terrified rider.

There were four teams that participated in this Donkey Basketball tournament: two teams composed of students, a teacher team, and a team composed of members from the community. Student team #1 thrashed the community team thanks to Gavin Patterson who proved that despite his success as a wrestler, he could have a very bright future in the Professional Donkey Basketball League (PDBL).

Student team #2 then faced off against the teacher team, getting their “asses” handed to them on a silver platter. The two losing teams (community and student team #2) faced off in a consolation game, with the community snagging the win. Liz Smith of Student Team #2 said, “I had the dumbest donkey ever. I really just kind of sat there and let him do whatever he wanted…which was basically to do nothing. I wasn’t much help to my team.”

Donkey Basketball was entertaining for spectators and participants alike. Freshman Libbi Erickson, who enjoyed from the safety of the bleachers, said, “I liked when Coach Clark got bucked off. I mean, I imagined that someone would get bucked off, but it was more funny that it happened to a teacher.” As was made apparent by his donkey, Clark may benefit from participating in the workout regimen that he prepares for his students.

Thanks to the extremely successful turnout of the event, it is highly likely that donkeys can be expected to run rampant in SVHS again. Although it is uncertain which team will prove victorious next time, it can be assured that Donkey Basketball is a sport worth watching!

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Donkey Basketball Asstounds Spectators